Elena, 45 - 8 марта 2008 14:27

Corporate politics- the two-cow explanation

An American corporation.
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A Japanese corporation.
You have two cows. You genetically engineer them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
A German corporation.
You have two cows. You genetically engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
An Italian corporation.
You have two cows...but don’t know where they are. You break for a siesta.
A Russian corporation.
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You count them and learn you have 8 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A Swiss corporation.
You have 5 000 cows. None of them belongs to you. You charge others for storing them.
An Indian corporation.
You have two cows. You worship both of them .
A Chinese corporation.
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You have high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who reports otherwise.


Party politics- the two-cow explanation.

Christian democrat.
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
Socialist.
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
American Republican.
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
American Democrat.
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
Communist.
You have two cows. The government seizes both of them and provide you with milk.
Fascist.
You have two cows. The government seizes both of them and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a sabotage campaign.
Capitalist.
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.

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